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Discover What God Says About Loneliness

The belief “I’m Alone” is a state of mind, not a state of being. It is a lie the enemy uses to fuel the feeling of loneliness. Yes, Jesus left us behind but He never left us alone. He is not only ‘with’ you…He’s ‘in’ you…and He is the best company!! (John 14:18-20)

faith community praying for each other

On May 6th, 2023, I graduated from the Upperroom School of Ministry (USM). One of the most special and impactful times of my life. I made so many friends during this season and created unique bonds with each of them. But with the season ending and people leaving, what does that mean for those friendships? What do I do with these bonds? I came from a lack of community, got thrown into an amazing character-building, life-changing season at USM, and experienced it with others, and now do I just have to go back to lack?

The answer to these questions isn't so much the point, but addressing the place from which these questions are being asked. 9 out of 10 times, it comes from a place of loneliness.

For me, that was the fear. Will I be alone again?

beautiful family picture

The hardest part about a journey ending is splitting ways with the people you were on the journey with, amen? I think that’s why God says “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother…” (Gen. 2:24, ESV). God knows leaving people is the hardest part and that's why he addresses it. He didn't say “Man shall leave his animals, his possessions, his land.” God said to leave people! God said, Mom and Dad!

Not Mom and Dad! Anyone but them! I need them for support, guidance, and definitely for financial needs at some point. They are the people I love! I’ve been with them literally my whole life! What will I do? Who will I be around? Here’s the good news...

God never intends to separate if it's not to make space for who is coming next!

“Man shall leave…and hold fast to his wife.” (Gen 2:24, ESV)

Look at what's to come!

Here's another example:

“Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I don't go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.” (Jn 16:7, ESV, Italics added)

friends walking together

During USM, the guys would all walk to class together. On one specific day when we didn't wait for my friend, he shouted from across the parking lot where we walked to class and said “Jesus would never leave a brother behind!”. My immediate thought was “Dang that's so true. I mean, it's Jesus so why would he ever leave someone behind?” However, my other friend next to me responded with John 16:7! And that's when the revelation hit. Jesus did leave brothers behind, but only because He knew that someone better was coming.

So here’s the word of the day: There is something better coming.

And here’s the exhortation of the day: Hang on to the character of God that He will not leave you alone.

In fact, when He saw that Adam was alone (Gen 2:18) God made a helper fit for him. He brought another person along. Why? Because He sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68:8, NIV). I could name many other accounts of God bringing people together like Aaron helping Moses or Jesus sending disciples out two by two, but here's the point…

Your loneliness could be seasonal, discouraging, heavy, monumental, and life-draining, but it's never forever.

Loneliness never lasts forever. It’s not in God’s will for you to be alone forever.

Think about the throne room in heaven or even the Trinity! It is fascinating to think that God himself ordained to have company around him 24/7. My guess is that God doesn't like being alone, so He definitely doesn't like when You’re alone.

Family is coming. Friends are coming. I bet a lot more people love you than you think and sometimes you have to make yourself available to them. Be honest about where you're at and be intentional about what you're doing about it.

For all my practical people out there, here are some ways to help you walk out of loneliness:

1. Pray. For a long time I prayed for a spiritual father and today, I'm happy to say I've walked with one for the past 4 months :) I prayed for friends and which friends to be around and God answered that. Jesus prayed about which friends to run with so pray about yours!

2. Leave the house. Go to a coffee shop and read, walk around a park, just leave the house! This is where I have to start because even though I need people, it's a lot easier to just stay home and wallow about not having them. So Leave!

3. Show up. Go to events even if you don’t know everyone showing up. Be bold and give people an opportunity to love you. Not everyone has the capacity to, but believe that God will bring the right people around you.

4. Call people. Who do you have around you that loves you? Parents, siblings, pastors, friends, whoever it is just call them. There is something so invigorating about having a good conversation with someone life-giving.

5. Journal. Journal and pray about where you are at and watch God turn your whole situation around.

It’s the end … … of your loneliness, that is!

If loneliness is a tormenting emotion that continues to rob you of joy, peace & rest, I encourage you to schedule an appointment with the INNERROOM. What you need is a personal, experiential encounter with Jesus to expose the lie driving the painful feeling of loneliness. It’s impossible for ‘loneliness’ and the ‘Presence of Jesus' to coexist.

reading the bible

I’ll leave you with this prayer:

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.” Amen. (Eph 3: 14-21, ESV)


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